married -joint income and tax brackets

[rhia]

I work full time and my salary takes me into the 40% bracket(37,100 pa), I have also taken on another job which earns approx 7000 pa -so more tax at the higher rate. My husband only works part time and we are considering becuase of his relatively low income(8,500 pa) whether it makes any sense for him to continue.
How can we best use our personal allowances child tax credits/working tax credits/ tax brackets etc? We have 2 school age children and no savings. Our ignorance on matters of UK tax stems from not having lived in the country for 16 years
What he cannot accept is that I(we) pay more tax and NI than he is earning- I would also rather him not work at all and attend college or some such(yes I am the perfect wife)- if the net result of our employed efforts means he works to pay our tax.
Thankyou for any tips or guidance